A Conversation with Lily & Jerry Penso
Have you ever experienced a moment when life feels like it’s imitating art — as if you’re watching a beloved movie scene unfold right before your eyes? Communications Committee member Suzan Zilahi felt exactly that while sitting with Lily and Jerry Penso in their living room, evoking the sweet interviews of couples woven throughout When Harry Met Sally, by the late, great director Rob Reiner.
Spending time with the Pensos felt just as tender and timeless — a story of family, faith, lifelong partnership, community service, resilience through tragedy, and a lifetime of well-deserved awards and quiet accolades.
Q: Where did you grow up and what were your professions?
Lily: I was born in Ottawa and went to school here. I worked as a secretary for several government departments and later for the National Research Council until I got married.
Jerry: I’m from Brooklyn, New York.
Q: Jerry, what path did your career take?
Lily (laughing): He might tell it differently, so I’ll jump in. When we first met, he worked for the Bank of America in New York. After that, he worked for the Sperry Corporation, a significant equipment and electronics company.
Q: How did you meet?
Lily: In Florida. We were both on vacation, staying at the same motel, where I met my bashert, soulmate. And now we have been married an incredible 67 years!
Q: Did you immediately return to Ottawa?
Lily: We lived in the United States for six years and had two of our children there. In 1964 Jerry had an opportunity to come to Ottawa to work with my cousin Chick Taylor in the IGA grocery business. Jerry learned the trade and worked closely with my brother Max Greenberg. Max and Jerry eventually went out on their own and became business partners and always shared a wonderful working relationship.
Jerry: I came to love retail and we were so fortunate to build a great business together.
Lily: He still remembers customers and employees by name. That was just the type of business he and Max ran.
Q: What brought you to Agudath Israel?
Lily: We attended a family Bar Mitzvah and even though I grew up in an Orthodox Shul at Machzikei Hadas, Agudath Israel felt very familiar with the same siddur, services and tunes. We enjoyed the mixed seating and the shul felt comfortable and inviting to us, so we joined.
Q:The Shul must hold many family memories.
Lily: Very much. Our son had his Bar Mitzvah there, our two daughters were married there, and our grandchildren were named there. It’s part of our lives.
Q: If you’re comfortable sharing, can you tell us about your family?
Lily: We had three children. Our son Michael had a developmental disability and was the inspiration for starting Tamir. Sadly, we lost him almost six years ago at the age of 58 due to kidney failure.
Then we suddenly lost our eldest daughter, Eileen, last January 2025 from an autoimmune disease. So, we’ve had our share of heartbreak.
Our daughter Laura lives in Toronto along with her husband Tommy and our granddaughter Charly. Despite the distance, we are very close and she offers us much love and support and we see them often.
Q: You’re both known for your volunteer work. Where did that begin?
Lily: When we moved back to Ottawa, I became involved with ORT, which supported education and trades. For over 40 years, I also volunteered with the Canadian Cancer Society.
After retirement, we simply helped wherever there was a need.
Jerry: I served on the Agudath board and volunteered at the Ottawa Deaf Centre, where I learned some sign language. I also helped refugee families from Kosovo and Argentina. Later, as a board member, I co-chaired the establishment of the Ottawa Kosher Food Bank with the late Rhoda Blevis. It started small but grew quickly and still provides critical support to many families.
Lily: We also helped with the Sunday Sandwich Program. We saw children at a local public school with barely any lunch, so we began to make sandwiches once a month for the local school and shelters. The bread was donated by Rideau Bakery, and the food came from the Shul. No child should go hungry.
Q: Lily, Tamir is an extraordinary legacy. How did it begin?
Lily: When Michael was nearing adulthood, there weren’t enough opportunities for him socially. Some children included him, others did not. I knew he couldn’t stay home forever, and a Jewish environment was important to us as well as to Michael. We wanted him to live an independent life of meaning and friendship. So, we started researching the options of creating a Jewish group home for developmentally disabled adults.
In 1985, Tamir began with just three young men — Michael and two others. Today Tamir supports well over 200 people, including many on the autism spectrum, with housing, life-skills programs, workshops and supervised social activities.
I always say I did it selfishly, because of my Michael, but I am so proud that Tamir now supports so many, on so many levels.
Despite his disability, Michael had a regular Bar Mitzvah at KBI and learned Torah from Cantor David Aptowitzer, a very kind and patient man. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room, that Shabbat.
Q: What was it that compelled you both to volunteer for so many years?
Together, Lily and Jerry have helped students in the ESL (English as a Second Language) program in their local public school. They also help Israelis with their language skills via Skype through the Israel Connect program. And they helped serve lunch to the homeless at St. Luke’s Church on Somerset Street.
Lily: When we heard there was a need, we thought, “We have the time.” So we made time. It came naturally. It’s also how I grew up – faith and family. Helping others was simply part of life.
Jerry: Helping others is so rewarding, we get back even more than we give.
Q: You’ve both received numerous awards.
Lily: The awards weren’t necessary. We never did it for recognition. You help because it feels right, and because you get satisfaction from making a difference.